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The key is to be short and sweet; the longer the email, the more likely it’s going to seem as though you’re too desperate. if you’re already assuming that they’re not likely to write back time writing out a sonnet?I’m a fan of the dating site email template – less of a form letter and more of a very easily customizable email that you send out in order to save time.To abuse the metaphor further, you want to be tossing as much out there as you can and seeing what floats to the top. Some people are just going to disappear off the face of the earth with no warning.It’s one thing when you’re meeting women in person – unless you’re a graduate of the Lando Calrissian Player School, then you’re only going to be flirting with one woman at a time. Even if someone seems perfect on paper, you have no idea how well you’re going to work out in person… Even two or three dates isn’t enough to preclude things not working out.I’m a big believer in efficiency when it comes to dating. Y’see, online dating can seem for folks, especially people who have a touch of approach anxiety or hate the bar and club scene but don’t necessarily want to try hitting up strangers at Barnes and Noble. In practice, however, we have these tendencies to expend a lot of our time and energy on aspects of dating which prone to wasting your time with online dating than you are trying to meet women by making a cold approach at a bar or making small-talk with the cute librarian you ran into at Starbucks.

really, dating site (with some notable exceptions).

By spending so much time trading emails back and forth, you’re bleeding emotional momentum.

That initial rush of interest goes away quickly if you wait too long to actually make your move; they’ll almost always start to assume you’re not . If you’ve been exchanging emails back and forth, then they’re interested in talking to you; take “yes” for an answer and say “You know, I think getting to know someone over drinks is better than just emailing back and forth, don’t you? It’s fairly simple: the magic number is typically when you’ve exchanged 3 or 4 emails. Much like talking in person, if they’re writing long emails or asking lots of questions, they’re definitely into you; short, terse responses mean that they’re not quite feeling it.

It takes slightly longer than hitting “wink” (unless you’re like me and kept two to three variations in a text file that you could copy and paste in as needed…) but it’s also far more likely to get an actual response instead of a silent eye-roll. You may be trying to feel things out and get to know them.

You may be trying to avoid getting shot down and want to wait until you’re actually going to meet her in public.

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