You may have at first thought you must be the only one taken down by this crazy-making cycle of false accusations and endless circular arguments.
But at some point you went on line just in case there was anyone else who had been through the same kind of emotional war zone.
You may first need to get a clear understanding of why women with traits of borderline personality disorder act the way they do.
Each of the crazy-making behaviors that you have experienced does have an explanation, and finding out why she acted the way she did can help you sort out the confusion.
If you are like most men, your Internet searches landed you in the middle of a discussion about borderline personality disorder. You may also have read that this type of personality transformation is one of the telltale signs of borderline personality disorder.
At that point you may have seen words on your computer screen that described in uncanny detail every negative behavior your ex engaged in after her Dr. There may have been an eye-opening wake-up moment of realizing that you finally had an explanation that made sense out of all of the confusing and painful behavior you experienced from your ex.
Even though you may have been wrong about your ex having a personality disorder, you are not wrong about the damage you suffered from being in a relationship with her.
Because the behaviors of women with only a few traits of borderline personality disorder within a relationship are often the same as those who have the actual disorder, you may have suffered in a very similar way.
Regardless of whether you brought your own issues to the relationship or not, the idealization and subsequent devaluation of your character would have arisen no matter how you conducted yourself once the level of closeness that triggered your ex’s rejection of you was reached.
The psychological damage that women who idealize and then devalue in relationships can inflict on their partners can be very difficult to heal from.
The environment that your ex created in your relationship probably caused you to walk through a psychological minefield on a daily basis.
Whether it happened slowly or it was an overnight transformation, you probably eventually realized that the woman who was once in love with you had turned against you, and unless you fixed the problem, you were going to lose what you may have felt was the most important relationship of your life.
You may at first have tried to ask her about her personality change only to hear from her that it was you who she thought had changed overnight.