My roommate’s out of town, and my car isn’t working. After I hung up the phone I told her where I was going. She just wants to have a smoke, that’s all.” “Trust me. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.” “My hero.” Pulling her door open, she gently waved the glass of red wine in her hand.
And I’m just for a smoke.” “Yes,” I said, semi-maniacally. That woman is already smokin’.” Upon arriving at Miss Usher’s home I found her porch in pitch darkness. “Come on in.” I secretly begged my yearning-to-be-free leg to allow me to walk at least semi-normally.
When you’re focused on your identity as Virgin with a capital V, it can feel like everybody else is at a party that you’ve been left out of, even as it’s going on all around you. Prom goes from just a dance to THE BIGGEST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE, a night when you’re supposed to confess your love and slip away to lose your virginity.
We get convinced that college is a nonstop whirlwind of parties and fucking thanks to the “Girls Gone Wild” videos, every college movie since and pearl-clutching moral panic pieces about “hook-up culture”.
On Monday, I talked a little about the toxic culture surrounding masculinity and how it hurts men.
Today, I want to start the conversation to help dismantle it.
They so fear rejection for being virgins that they can’t bring themselves to approach women.A Right there on Miss Usher’s porch my right leg started shaking like it wanted to hop right off of me and go cavorting with the kangaroos in Australia. After taking a sip of her wine, Miss Usher said, “I’m so glad you came over tonight, John.” I think that’s what she said, anyway. I find that hard to believe.” Sticking out her bottom lip in a little empathy pout, she tilted her head a bit. ” I pressed down on my leg so hard to this day it’s a miracle I can walk.The lipstick left behind on her glass had somehow made me a little deaf. I didn’t have any plans for tonight.” My voice sounded like one of those warbling wood saws. “Actually, I’m sort of between girlfriends at the moment.” This time I sounded like a kazoo. Gently biting the tip of her little finger between her front teeth, Miss Usher said, “Do you know why I called you over here tonight?And one of the best places to start is to talk about sex.Specifically: male virginity and the shame in ages – talking about the shame and pain of being a male virgin.